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Those who know me well know that a cloud of guilt follows me wherever I go. I grew up without religion, yet guilt spills from my pores at levels rivalled only by lapsed catholics. So, if I don't think I'm making baby jesus cry, then what is wrong with me exactly? I think I may have finally figured it out, at least partially!

First of all, and this may come as a shock to all of my devoted fans, but I actually have done some bad things in my life. I know it's hard to believe, but I promise it's true! Sometimes, especially as a kid, I would, at times, do mean-spirited things. Allow me to explain.

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